I Speaketh

21 is a lucky number because it got this blog running

2011-08-22T21:15:00.000+05:00

this blogs been closed for more than a year and i meant to keep it that way except, its my best mate ayesha's birthday and the last time i did a birthday post for her was 3 years ago on this very blog and ah well, i dont want to change that

so a very happy birthday to you ashuu!

i met ashu in high school while searching for my physics class. she was on the top of the stairs and i was on the bottom, i looked up and asked her if she knew where sir iftikhar's class was. she looked down, took an extra long drag from her Cuban cigar, puffed a smoke ring and muttered some that sounded like ma hood! ya dig?

(before we continue i must warn you i have a tedency to exxagerate. a little)

i don't know how but before long we were hanging out. so while i was crapping my pants about the increasing number of subjects i was keeping ashu was the biology cucumber. we had economics together where we met talha-who-is-a-chick and isra-the-verbal-diarreha . a couple of months later we made a social services society which everybody initially thought was some sort of dating service.

we cleared that mis conception soon by squeezing 50 ruppes each month from all the members to sponsor a SOS kid.
since the organizing committe was all girl we decided to get a dude in all fairness.
we made a list of potential dudes like
mushi uncle
the dude with a cap
the dude with that bag
a skull with a bow on top

in the end we enlisted the services of ~~fahad~~ fahd (he changed hisname back to fahad after the SAT scene of 2008 muwahahah) who was, to my great consternation, taller than me. he was henceforth known as the munshi whod do all our dirty work while we'd soak in the sun sipping pepsi-coladas. it wasnt just me and shu, ther was talha-who-is-a-chick and isra-the-verbal-diarreha

by the end of 11th grade we were slaying dragons in the form of SOS directors in crutches. gigglng and making dirty references regarding gazebos

we had establised a basic grasp over most of the smileys used in texting with the help of our lol cat obsessed friend fahad

ayesha was trying to get her coffee addiction in control

We had, or rather i had become anime obsessed, it was my dose of happy

fahad became insanely obsessed with lol-cats

isra was happy go lucky as always

then came 12th grade, most of which i spent in my bed lightly snoring. but we had our fair share of adventures, weather it was

bashing our heads with the SAT books and chewing on the commonapp

or discovering a new friend in poly

hawking loogies in out school fountain

making crass llama love videos (which isnt at all what it sounds, dont be alarmed)

falling in love with vampire academy, bun kebabs and pakola

it was during that year that ayesha demonstrated her superior skills at hitting people with folders, SAT critical reading, stealing wifi, shooting innocent birds in warcraft, breathing fire at blue faced stalkers and cornering innocents and telling them the treatment of cholera in detail.

the end of grade 12 saw ayesha making her way to the top and into the university where they teach people to become 21st century Doctor Frankensteins. There she proceeded to chuck people into swimming pools, harassing and offending engineering sensibilities with her medical perversities and visiting Mcdonalds in ovrestuffed cars way more times than she could stomach.

i am afraid as i reach the end of my post i have no clue what it was supposed to be about. right now i am reduced to rambling like an old biddy while listening to faithfully and frankly everything is making me a bit emo and confused so ill quit while i am ahead.

ayesha i wuv you loads. i miss the hours we would spend on the phone rambling. i remember the jokes and the moments and today on youre 21st nameday i wish you alll the besstttt because youre a a grown up now and the KIDS NEXT DOOR ARE NOT GOING TO LET YOU OFF THAT EASILY MUWAHAHAHAHAHA

happy birthday tutu. i am not going to spell/grammar check this post beause my phingers are aching and you know i am lazy like that

gone fishing

2010-08-08T20:11:00.002+05:00

i didnt blog for a month because i was saving the world from giant jelly monsters
it was a covert mission and sadly only 3 dudes in shades acknowledged my services to humanity
i also got a fat helpingf of KAACHHIINGGGG!
with which i bought disney land. had it shipped to my place along with megan fox yesterday

SCORE!

yeah i wish
what really happened was that i dedicated my past one pain year to sleeping and eating and well sleeping

me and kahi-ness, we had a good run but like all good things it must come to an end
sigh

anyways, ive decided to shift from blaagspot to wordpress. I wont pull the plug on this one because well i have amazing high school procrastination memories attached.
plus
one can always use a completely whacked random question!

hit this:

cheers =)

2010-05-29T01:25:00.001+05:00

can we pretend that airplanes in the nightsky are like shooting stars? i could really use a wish right now.

Airplanes [B.O.B ft Hayley Williams]

no nose knows normalcy

2010-05-25T22:46:00.005+05:00

blog title screwed to hell no?
*long-suffering look
me
I am a complete screw up
i live in the most screwed up times after all

lot has happened
lot that shouldve been blaaaged about
but that lot was 50% depressing (have you been to my university)
20% downright ridiculous (have you seen fundos?)
and i think i dreamt the rest because i ~~sleep~~ hibernate like a pro these days (which can also account for the lack of blaag posts)

and i am not even on summer vacations (yet)
reason number-too-infinitudal-to-be-stated why my university be dammed

summer vacations start in june
and MINE start around 11th September BECAUSE (dammed if i tell)

basically this means that I better install a cooler inside my tent like dupatta

coming to the main part of the post
i have my EP viva tomorrow
and i should be studying
but that's like cheh just wrong haina

herez how it goes

while I is trying to find my notes

texts F: oye did you have the blah blah event meeting today? sorry couldnt make it. are the volunteers cute? did you brand them like they do to horses?

F replies: They are from your degree!

me: WHATT?? OMG NOT MY DEPARTMENT I HOPE?

F: YES YOUR DEPARTMENT BABY\

me: [terminated]

[10 minutes later. notes? =s]

who needs a guy, chicks are hotter

12 people award me a nobel peace prize (because i requested for one)

one offers a nobel polly prize. it doesnt come with any cash though. just free charmed seasons (yaakhhh)

one offers membership to the 'rainbow society' (facepalm)

one says 'go study for the viva freak'

i think i woke one up (whoops)

one ki eye twitches

one says .. oh.what.the.hell.am.i.doing

[20 minutes later, still very much devoid of notes]

A texts: Blair's and Serena's catfight. priceless =*) (hez a blaady GUY)
me: oyee i want gossip girl season 2 as well. (to incinerate it of course.. seriously.. OYE)
A: I wanna be like Chuck Ass. hez my new idol. don't tell anyone
A: actually Nate is not bad
me: I have my EP viva. weeesh me luck
A: baaast of laack.. break a leg
.
.
.
.
.
of the instructor of course
me: i have 8 to choose from. joy

[20 minutes later]

A: *pained* YOU TOLD SEHRISH (A's biggest torturer. my young apprentice sehrish)

[20 minutes later. me beginning to realize i never actually made any notes. i slept through the workshops]

S: I WWWAAAANNNTTT MY PRRRINNCEESSS (as usual we ignore these messages. S is nutjob. we hope he snaps out of it soon)

[2 minutes later. saima panics. NOOO NOTEESSS]

N: all people interested in eGaming contact sir whatshisname.oh.never.mind during lunch break in the mechatronics department. fwd this to all your classfellows
Y: Ive completed the assignment (which mean i can take it for chappa)
me: I AM TAKING YOUR NOTES ASWELL. YOU CANNOT HIDE

[hour later.. what notes?]

U: howz the prep?

me: iam studying now. serious

(well i am. I AM. LOOK THIS POST IS FEENISHED)

the end of a rather boring and pointless blogpost

BTW THE TEMPERATURE IN MULTAN IS 48 C
AND HERE ITS 45 C

pity me
pity me and those moolatanis

the 11th commandment: thou shalt blog

2010-05-04T09:44:00.000+05:00

so this post is just to remind the little following out there that contrary to popular belief i have not croaked

yet

iam just soo super busy (waila) with studies (chain flunking) and extra curriculars (eating and sleeping)

baaaat a post weeel come soon..

probably tonighty

because

blogging during ODEs

is risky

i think my sir just gave me the evil eye

taa taaa

tally hooooo

(bad british accent)

happens

2010-02-13T01:23:00.004+05:00

take one
invigilator (during examination): it has been noted that the frequency of bathroom visits has increased, please go the the washroom ONE AT A TIME *paraphrases* and not together and *stop please* close the door when you go in

take two

me: *spins round in a chair* I've been expecting you ......

(o wait its you)

sweeper chacha: baji jee is kamray ki safai karni hai

take three

guidance counsellor / regional director / principal / economics teacher (while filling out my transcripts); iam one word short, give me one word that describes you

me: whaa haaa.. i errr.. erm... like *looks around*

mam: come on *encouraging*

me: i aaahh .. what like.. me .. i mean.. iam.. like..

*everyone in the office is now fixated on the stumbling kid*

mam: come on beta

*goes blank, cant even come up with one miserable adjective*

me: *squeaks* i think i am ... *tiny voice* funny sometimes?

mam: *stares and scribbles something*

I later found out she'd written 'women rights activist'

O_o

take four

*ayesha making a video, or was it me?* mam how would you describe saima

mam farhat: saima? saima is a very good kid, very brilliant, but BOHOT LAZY HAI!

*whole room in chorus* : exactly maaaaaaaaaaammmm

I am a rotational mess

2010-02-10T22:15:00.003+05:00

my chemistry sir has reminded us on numerous occasions that laser technology has still not made it to mainstream national research and how some of us should consider doing something about it in years to come

know how lasers are explained in my book

a sneak peek if i may :p

'... laser action takes place between rotational sub level of a particular vibrational level to the rotational sub level of lower vibrational level...'

well sir, now you know why

i will never never look back on lasers
or chem for the matter of fact

*2 more papers to go and then a sodding eight days worth semester break
(i will survive i will survive)

your schnauz creates a honking symphony

2010-02-04T22:15:00.011+05:00

about time i regret opting for engineering

EC final
today
screwy?
understatement

lets start from the beggining

bad start to the day
accidently took some coffee
am caffeine intolerant
heloo head aches, nausea and that
yea that that*

*open to interpretation

already had an allnighter in hand
reached university, feeling drugged and so not in love

with

the

dude who checks our entry passes

(saima detained for 10 minutes, bloody pass)

upon finally draggging my fined arse to the electrical dept am greeted by a horde of chicks going over derivations and other potentially retarding stuff

how pointless is memorising a 10 pages worth derivation

you tell me
and my teacher

aanyyywaayzz lets fast forward to the exam hall
where my seat is

.
.
.
.
wait for it

.
.
.
.
.

right outside the bloody bathroom

and there is a gutter too
inside the exam hall

out side the bathroom
in front of me

me by the way is dealing with a splitting headache

clutching head while attempting a paper kind of sends teh wrong message to the teacher no?

back to the bathroom

every 2 minutes somebody goes inside
and blows their nose

for like a whole freaking minute

now read the remaining post while this plays in the background
(if the clip isnt there switch to firefox)
vvv

its like a chain reaction

suddenly everybody is fascinated by the idea of blowing nose
everybdy is going in

and the whole noise is echoing right into the hall
its like an opera

and yea try giving a suckass paper listening to that

yes iam the victim here

keep my composure for teh first 15 minutes
and then accidently look my my friend who is staring incredulously at the bathroom

and then we both fall of our chairs

of course paper was 3 hours long
and when you know nothing 3 hours can be preeetttyyyy long

i think my fever is kicking in now cuz the post just went from lame to laemo

impending finals sucketh, leacheth my ability to posteth good.. dealeth with the crap

2010-01-15T02:09:00.000+05:00

Only once have I been made mute. It was when a man asked me, "Who are you?"
(khalil jibran)

yea THAT is NaaaaaaTHaaaaanng babes

i was made mute when some chick asked me, ''sammy are there any hot guys in EME?''

eff my life

kids alwayz do it better!! bows

2010-01-02T14:43:00.000+05:00

Dear Darla,

I hate your stinking guts,
you make me vomit,
you are the scum between my toes,

love Alfalfa.

(the little rascals 1994)

happy? new year..

2009-12-31T23:59:00.000+05:00

4 minutes to new year and iam drooling infront of the heater while my bro explains paranormal activity to my bored parents

yeah well new year wasnt alwayz this erm dull

but back then we didnt have 'security situations'

anywayz

i dont have any new year resolutions this time

because i know, no matter what
i will procrastinate
i will invest blind trust in everyone (i soo need a painful betrayal-like-slap-into reality)
i'll remain disillusioned with God (iam NOT angsty ya twits)
i'll keep torturing snobby pseudo-intellectuals
.
.
(the blah list)
.
.
and i WILL continue cribbing about my university
which is a new

point is

i wont change for the world (does this count?)

and Allah
if you are listening

please bring peace to my country
and to those who have lost their loved onez in vain

that all i want from you... from 2010

you are not gentleman enough!

2009-11-27T12:04:00.000+05:00

[original post hacked off because the oh-so-glorious author does not want her arse withdrawn from the university for dribbling profanity.. yea, erm, thats a big no no on my current agenda]

FAIL

infact an EPIC FAIL if i may

not a baa-aa-aa-aa-d job

2009-11-24T19:57:00.000+05:00

I REALLY THINK I SHOULD BLOG MORE OFTEN..

its probably the only thing that mite keep my sanity in check

because

university is hell

quote that girl whose name i still dunno

'*hushed voice* she doesn't know what hit her'

and the other girl

'oyeee PC tumhari ragging nai hoi?? oye idhar aao.. oye kahan bhag rai ho.. oyeeee..'

aaaaannnnyyyyywayz
today we made eid cards for the armed forces
outside the computer eng dept
on the lawn
in the freezing cold

us not the armed forces (imagine that :P)

it was fun
and the sort of break i needed from ultimate theta public behavior
yea guess what they call nerds here: thetas
i have nooo idea why

soooooo card making was like
me
mental age: 3
glitter, ribbons, stars and other 'items'
ooooo shhiiinnnyyyy...
goes nuts
equally nutter friends join
occasionally someone passes by and spills the glitter
spectator nutters ruin my card with too much glitter (intentional spill)
me and another nutter try to fix it

surprisingly with her powers of neatness and artistry and mine of ... errr well grubby fingers.. we did manage to save it..
well most of it

but my other friends made some reeeaalllyyy NAACEEEE CARDSS YAAASS!!

pictures
i wanted to upload
but
cell
is being an ass

damn!

oh yeah and i had some real fun with the German glue.. ended up covered in glitter, stars and dry grass...
german glue eeeeeviiilll
friend even more evil..
she blew all the 'shinies' on me
and by my standards
that is a criminal offense

not your regular sunday brunch

2009-11-15T13:45:00.000+05:00

so mom and bro left yesterday for some 150th cousin's wedding

I stayed behind
as any sane person would

had coco pops for lunch
coco pops for dinner

*seriously need to learn HOW to cook*

sunday rolls in
dad makes omlette
(baaad one.. who said army men cook well..? )
I enter.. eyes fall on the huge 3 inches thick omlette in the pan..
ABUUU SCRAMBLE IT..
WHAT NOOO.... ITS ALMOST FINISHED..
NOOO ABU ITS TOO THICK.. SCARMBLE OR SUFFER
NOO
SCRAMBLE..
ARRRRHHH
SCRAMBLE

yeah scrambling didnt help...
had i known that one was for me i would have never ..... *chokes*
there was soo much omlette/scrambled omlette left in the end that dad told me to put it in the fridge..

you know for lunch beta...

nahheeeeeeinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn...

*cooking for dummies? i need one pronto... before 4:00 pm*

and just when i thought it was over.. i saw the pile of dishes on the sink...
*clutches heart*
how the hell can two people make such a huge mess..

muuummmmmmyyyyyyyyyy

then i facebooked.. after a loooong time.. (three dayz :P)
93 notifications (big smile) so people did miss mee...
turns out couple o twits had tagged me in those wall photos
F*

organized chaos

2009-10-07T14:15:00.000+05:00

you'd be surprised to hear that even a waila person is alwayz busy..

its true

you wont get it

i know

Btw do you know how much a decent novel costs these days.. its worth my entire eidi!!

bah bloody inflation, !!

Nazis!!!!

and did you also know ke discounted books in Rawalpindi are priced 10 times as those in lahore!!

*sniff*

The nearer you are to the capital, nearer to the presidency, nearer to teenage bankruptcy!

anywayz ive been reading this book Making history by Stephen Fry that I found in the discount section of variety books-lahore .its a sci-fi comedy/time travel thriller about a young historian and how he makes an alternate timeline where there is no Hitler (omg my sensei :P) I havent finished it yet.. far from it actually,... but its a good read..

now i wuv comedy but i normally don't buy books pertaining to the genre cuz i find better 'phunny stuff' on the internet

and in everday walking talking life..

like...

the promotional banners of pakistani films :P :P

piyo badmashan da (daddy of badmash ppl?). khoonkhar (translation bloody?)

*ROFLMAO* (omg my urdu??!?)

dracula in paksitan :P

*sigh* if the taliban knew such women existed in pakistan, theyd run far far away and leave us alone.. *sigh*

when you are working on your university applications in the empty resource room and a couple of juniors burst in, start straightening each otherz hair.. then makeup session, then change into an objectionable outfit session (omg maulana sahib FATWAAA.. :P oh wait maulana sahib poondi-goggling kar rahein hoon gain.. mashallah mashallah ).. then a bitch session about how my lipstick is all wrong , and all this time you are in the corner trying hard not to get distracted and yet thinking

man a guy would kill to be in my place right now!!

or when the information minister opens his mouth and completely redefines verbal diarrhea

every time our 'president' smiles (screams in back ground) or does this in public:

one wonders when will he get over his late wife? ideal husband yaar!! haina?

*bangs head on the keyboard*

and who can not gape in sheer shock over the following hall of fame stunt (i actually wanted to make a video with sound effcts.. ah too much khawari.. this will have to do :P):

music stops .. comes to s screeching halt.. dramatic music cuts in...

*CHING*

*LA CHING CHING*

*CHA CHING*

*CHII CHIII CHIIINNGGGG*

*DA DA DA DUMMMMM*

*CHING*

*kabong*

*list to be continued at some later date when the authors mother wouldn't be around to chide her for keeping a messy room... sigh... parents..*

Note for the cyber crime committee: (the league of govt hired internet police//bouncers-dont say bad about president, president gets very emo and insecure, we arrest you else):

On the first day of university i will have to sign an oath paper like everyone else (part of the admission procedure)... that i wont take part in politics while at the university.. and a couple of other stuf.. (which also includes i wont rag other students.. *considering i will be a freshman... i dont think i can even dream of that :P*)

well therez still a week before university starts eh *evil laugh*

besides this doesn't count as dabbling_in_politics, iam just passing value judgements *ah crap... foot in mouth.. *

PLUS iam the last person to actually bother about politics.. (politics pointless) :P

point is

u cant arrest me :P iam underage... i dun even have my ID card yet.. B-form zinda bad!! :P

muwahahahahahahahahahahaha

cheers

some things never lose their charm..

2009-10-03T12:21:00.000+05:00

my friend and i were channel surfing the other day when we came acroos this really old song by hadiqa kiyani.. man di mauj, and it brought back all those childhood memories when there was no cable, only PTV and STN :P and everyday around 6 pm me and my bro would be glued to the tv for the evening cartoons; swat cats, captain planet, the mask, and of course tom and jerry (and back then there was no urdu dubbing either... thankfully)

back to man di mauj (it used to come on the tv quite a lot back then) it takes one back to the times when the peaceful serendipidity of swat and killash was like an imperfect heaven..
its a beautiful song; a mix of kashmir kailash and chitral:P

oh yeah and did i mention that iam really waila these dayz... and with waila comes bored.. *part of the package thing :P* and when iam bored i start listening to the radio (beacuse facebooking 24/7 is degenerative and pathetic) and voila the radio addiction returneth :P ..
surprisingly most of the channels are still hooked on coke studio songs.. iam not complaining.. especially when its aik alif by Noori and Saieen Zahoor

seriously if you havent heard aik alif then you've missed out on something BIG!! its amazing

dare u to listen to the end *the opening can be tiring for some*

where are my endorphins you SUCKER ?!?!

2009-09-29T00:38:00.000+05:00

MOS QUIT OES

MOStly a pain in the arse

never QUIT being a pain in the arse

deal with my wOES

lame i know, but its bloody 2am in the night and iam half asleep. why iam up and drooling on the keyboard is because a horde of Culicidae is buzzing about me having a bash

oh yeeeeeeaah mosquitoes are big time party ~~animals~~ insects.. and i happen to be the ~~beer~~ blood kegger,

chug chug chug .. ?

so maybe some idiot left some window open which is responsible for these suckers being here in the first place but what i dont get is how they seem to have survived the bug zapper, a whole can of bug spray and 5 coils of mosqiuto repellent that i have lighted in front of me

(enter sammy the sage, incense, lights, worshipping mosquitoes, and skillet!)

uh yeah the coils are killing me more than they'r killing them.. *sniff* iam smoking pyrethroids or cymbopogons (the autopsy shall explain all )!!

by the end of the hour i'll die of either chemical poisoning or hypersensitivity pneumonitis

OR DENGUE!!

ooo i think theyr finally kicking the bucket!! yay time to douse the morteins

PS: my friend got me on vampire chick lit** recently (shoots self) and all the suckers in the books actually gave one an endorphin rush in exchange for blaaad, where as all that iam gona end up with is sir itchy, mashter scratchy and v.inflammy!!

its fangs over proboscis thing :P 'sob'

PPS: no more chick lit..

** it WASNT twilight, i still have a few braincells left, it was *ehem* vampire academy

(go ahead and laugh.. be sure to POINT)

PPPS: public service message :P

You've got it.
They want it.

now this'll be interesting...

2009-09-25T21:14:00.000+05:00

ah yesh saturday -26 sep 2009- shall see a huge bloody rise in espn/star sports/geo sports/PTV/&_the_rest viewer ratings as the two nations will sit down in front of their TV sets for the biggest match of the year (even bigger than, according to my cricket crazed fwends, T20 2009 ) now iam not that into cricket (hello my loyalties are with the gay devils .. whoops i meant the red devils- manchester united ) but this is one match that'll be really interesting (it better be, my time is moolah!) as pak-india matches are notorious for being the most unpredictable, (ummm and the whole arch-rival thing too, i guess :P )

hoping therez no sattay bazi-match fixing (evil eye for the pak team)

herez to a good game .. cheers

ps: any bets.. iam betting that chacha cricket will be there!!

i mean he even has his own wikipedia page now, 3 cheers for chacha jee

the truth about lafantary :P

2009-09-20T22:27:00.000+05:00

skype status: it sucks being a girl smtimes

why?

- you cant go wheeling out on mall road
- there is no such thing as laphuntarian
- only wailian, shugalian, bongian, sarhian, (sometimes chawal-ian)

- burger aunties *jaws theme*
- 500 cc ki bike *sob* not my niche.. *sob*
- you cant eat two samoosas at a time
- you cant burp alphabets ...

we'll get to the rest later,
so today was the last roza (fast), somehow i just know that if i see pakoras and dhai bhallas tommorow i'll most certainly puke, thats the thing about ramzan...

anywayz since tonights chaand raat, those of us who'r not so scared of terrorist blasts are out on the roads doin last minute shopping, chairaghan (lights) and laphuntaryian
whats laphuntaryian u ask? here goes

laphuntaryian is a desi verb which collectively describes all the chawal acts that harmonally fuckwitted men (loofars) perform in public while under the influence of limmu soda, cigarettes, bun kabab and pakola, meetha pan, chickni ladkian (snort), cheapeaster perfume and booze (last resort)

according to aun urf expired shouldve_been_don_but_its_a_no_no_now some finer acts of lafantaryian:-

hmm its like sab lofers ne mostly rent per cars lee hotey han n raat koo bank road block ker k drfiting kertey han n roads k dono sides per log he log hotey han

racing auntie??

n phir cars lagtey hain n they dun bother abt it ! lol

phir some one calls out oyee police aa gayee n then fast n furios ke taran sab log apne apne cars bagha datey han

after the cars aik round bikers ka aata ha

and two people would be sitting on one bike for the balance

n wheeling kertey hohey gusertey han without the exhaust cover

well at any rate this time there were no lafantaryain cuz according a very frustrated aun such was the scene at three in the night:

IDIOT faimlies abi tak shopping kar rahein hain, saddar main itna rush hai.. no drifting :(

anywayz herez eid mubarik to all, iam probably gona leave for faisalabad tomorrow to visit grammy, will blog when i come back :P (translation: where there is a majh 'cow' therez saimas inspiration)

Public service message

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nisar charsi tikka sheesh mehal

agar koi aur charsi hoga to number2 charsi hoga

wailian

2009-09-14T00:00:00.000+05:00

i will blog

ooo looky looky mindless garbage on TV, what more could a brainless_utterly_dejected_from_life_university_scene_off_hai_need_drugs_bloody_cmh_ppl_wont_prescribe_nemphetamine person could ask for *

haina hiana

*yes this is precisely the reason ive been awol for the past month

ps: i think iam in love with mr darcy (but i HATE jane austen, why did this happen)

the lesser evil: inkjet printers

2009-08-08T00:01:00.000+05:00

i was unceremoniously kicked out of teh bed 3 hours ago to arrange my stuff for the next dayz entry test (PIEAS btw) and thats when i came to realize that i din have the pasport size photograph *ALARM* so i in all wisdom decide to print one and the computer and all teh printers decide to turn on poor entry-test-A-level-VS-Fsc-victimized ME... YE HAI MERI KAHANI (spanning 3 hours)

*paper jam*
*paper jam*
*paper jam*
*low ink levels*...
*paper jam*
*shit i used laser printer*
*paper jam*
*critical ink levels*
*inserts a new cartridge*
*abnormal ink cartridge*
*bleep bleep buy a new cartridge*
*bleep bleep buy a new cartridge*
*bleep bleep buy a new cartridge*

*paper jam*

*paper jam*
-WAPDA-

*1 hour later*
they most confusing computer error ive ever come across

keyboard not detected, press any KEY to continue

*restart*

*disk error, press any key to continue*

*restart*

*paper jam*
*paper jam*

*yayyy its finally printing*

holyyy shit where are my pupls in the pic...and why are the few strands of hair, poking out of the scarf, ALL WHITE??!!?
*gets some coloring pencils*
and now *tada* i have a passport sized photograph of sm badly colored cartoon

whoevever said that that life was beautiful must have been drunk, which is exactly whats on my mind rite now -get high-

chug chug chug my pwitties

JULY 27, 4:00 AM the quest for thanda pani

2009-07-27T04:43:00.000+05:00

I am probably gona go straight to hell for posting this late (wateen ppl might shut down my net for being up at this hour...) but i, like leetle bro, have a practice of woozy/sleep walking for water in the middle of the night (read major collateral damage)

pluss thanx to my momz smtimes-accidental habit of switching off the dispenser, i chug an entire liter of GARAM H2O before spitting it out (spraying to be exact) and then have to grope my way to the dammed fridge ... (which i eventually locate with a head on collision... DAMN nightlight)

4 glasses/2 litres later, i have a breakthrough

1) sheesh u really sweat like a pig after drinking water in the middle of night

2) ahhh look people message at such odd hours...

3) my best friend topped (number one shall i say :P) nust's SAT merit list

HOWZ THAT FOR A-LEVELITES KICKING NUST'S PRO FSC MIGHTIER-THAN-THOU-IN-CURRICULUM ARSE!!!!

OWNED BABY

OWNED!!!!

rock on anikayy...

today iam on cloud nine.. i will allow my self a brief moment of jubilation.. tommorow who knowz

saima

nowhere'13

but v.hopeful'14

MUWAH MIT'15

ahh cm'on MIT'16

seriously u cant ban my application'17

hell hath no fury like a sammy scorned'18 (by MIT)

insanity'19 (MIT bhohot bewafa nikla)

nala lai'20

*yawn* noow that ive let it out, off to bed

for the heck of posting

2009-07-25T15:08:00.000+05:00

the other day i came across some hillarious .gif files and while i have a really good story for them, iam really too lazy to actually write it down..ENJOY :p (they mite take sm time to load :p)

i cant seen to load some of them.. u can view them here, here aaand here

oh and here

'sry guys have to remove the rest.. received complaints that my blog wont load.. :('

and lastly a public service message from our sponsors:-

its ZUKO baby!!! the damn poll

2009-07-23T22:57:00.000+05:00

ok so iam gona get right to it

-i like zuko

-who in the world is zuko u ask

-zuko is the prince of the firenation *eh?? u say* hez one of the lead characters of Nickolodeons 'The avatar: the legend of aang'

*yeh yeh... v.noob of me.. like i havent heard that b4*

now the thing is that one of my v.great friends, munzi, has only recently disclosed her undying love for zuko *ehem* she is prepared to go great lengths to prove her *ehem* voilent amore... like slitting her wrist *why dun u save that for asswipe edward cullen or any other gay glittering vampire from twilight like a good little teeny bopper* or even jumping off empire state building *uffffff*

sry iam getting detracted...

so point is that we cant share zuko (the poor sucker doesnt even exist to begin with but common sense isnt one of our strongest traits)

and since neither of us can be bought off by $moolah$ $moolah$ or a pair if killer high heels (preferrably red) we have decided to end our misey through a vote...

a public vote... not just me refrehing the page and voting for my self (which i fully plan to attempt if u ppl betray me)

so ive posted a poll in the right side of the page...

-------------------->

herez right in case u, like me, still look at ur hands to figure out wherez left and right :P

comments sec is below for ''comments'' unless u wana tell me how moronic thiswhole thing is cuz i ALREADY know that... we just call this SHUGHAL -cuz-wer-soo-bored-this-summer- and -someone-drank-all-my-beer-and-left-me-with-a-purple-cow

july 18 2009: pindites lose their heads over a drizzle :P

2009-07-18T15:57:00.001+05:00

in their defense: ATLEAST KUCH TO HOA MARA

after a week of a rather nasty heat wave, god finally decided to cut us some slack
i woke up to my phone ringing insanely with 'oyeee uth ja baarish ho rai hai' 'happy moonsoon'

just how much we needed this shower from the heavens (ahem excuse the cheesiness) can be shown by the general statuses on facebook gg

Umbreen Munir finallyy its raining!!! yeahhhhhhhhhhhh

Adil Nadeem O WATTA WEATHER....WATTA LINE AT BAHRIA WAITING IN DA RAAAAIN xD IT WAZ SOOO FUN FUN FANAAA FOR U BAHAHAHAH IM HIGH....

Sundus Choudary It's raining!. . .yayy!

Muhammad Uzair Tariq bc barish ho gai hai! ahh

Ridah Zafar is luvin the weather :D

Ann Fatima finally itss raining.....!!!!
Ujala Liaqat the rain has brought a happy twist to my morning

my dog seems like the only one around whoz not taking this weather well.. he has officially stuck half his body underneath amiz car and will not respond to anyone... until further notice :P
till then

Saima Tariq just slipped from the stairs again XP

I R AT-LOSS-FOR-A-PROPER-TITLE-FOR-THIS-PHOSSSTTT

2009-07-09T15:30:00.000+05:00

In remembrance of our recently Halal pop khalifa the (late) Meekaal Jackson, let me dedicate this song as his contribution to a trillion dollar market
The song is “Halal the World” (read in Urdu–Dunya Halal Karo) - For you and for me and for the entire Human Race.

u hafta admit its hillarious. but all that aside i din think it would happen this early. i watched the memorial with babes (new nic for leetle bro) and honestly, i thought the emotions exhibited by his faimly were fake.. but thats just me... and half a million people who felt the same way :P
nways between jane austen (the memory of sockums is responsible for this) and Bertrand Russel my brainz pretty much fried at the moment..

but on a very sammyopolitical front, the NUST entry test results came out this week an i din make it.. this is sth i hope i live long enough to frame on the walls of PITS.. (for lack of a better name, PITS is the dweam university that we hope to open one day in pak)... all dissapointments on this matter, of my parents which exceed a good measure beyond mine, iam just shocked at the open discrimination against A-level students on domestic grounds... where shall i go now... viqar un nisa??!!??

NUST *middle finger*

elow.. u shatter my dweams and give me an excuse to gain weight by gorging an entire tub of isheeshcream.. u cannot possible think i heart u

i heart-on-a-barbecue-grill u

I R BUMMED

iam backziz :P

2009-06-25T18:48:00.000+05:00

buwahahaha worst thing bout being done with ur papers is that u become supremely laaazy
i swear its prolly been 2 weeks since i got the insanely craved freedom..
2 weeks since i (finally) became a high school graduate
2 weeks since ive seen my psycho friends lining outside the girls canteen for pepsi and roll paratha
and barely 4 days since that disastrous NUST entry test!
... AND I HAVENT CLEANED MY ROOM OR GIVEN THE MUTT A WASH...

speaking of the NUST entry test, i think u all should know of the ordeal i went through

in a nutshell
2000 thousand ppl ... all goin whaaaats aap yaa
no ceiling fans, let alone bloody air conditioning
no tables
pepsi chairs which were the rage during shaadis 10 FRIGGIN years ago...
smelly toe rags 360
a head invigilator who kept using the word 'presumed'
a test glorifying FSc and everything dense
sammy sweat like a PIG

A BLOODY PIG I TELL YA

so where was i... great i forgot... i tell em iam gettin old.. cant see things properly (6.25 door ki ainak .. what else) cant hear amiz nagging anymore (iam in love with skillet) and keep losing my train of thought...

will blog again when the traitorous 'train' checks in :p
til then

BUM OUT

papers killlleethh me

2009-05-06T11:47:00.000+05:00

its been sm time since i last posted
and u can blame A-levels for that.
anyhow this'll proly be the only post for may
everyone best of luck for ur papers

lama league's official anthem

2009-04-15T08:43:00.000+05:00

lama league's executive committee:
ayesha
adil
saima

anthem: the llama song

if u ever see a llama.. kiss a llama on the llama.. llama llama llama

ycooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo hahahahahaha
ashu u were riiiiight!!!!

narutarded

2009-04-05T21:45:00.000+05:00

I LOVE NARUTO FLASH.. one day when i become a licensed cartoonist... [hopefully] iam gona credit narutarded as my sole inspiration

hmm ... each vid has 'ahem' content alongwith the hilarity... overlook that ok.. i din make these animations.. kill the producers =p

AKATSUKI !!!!! kisame maybe its small because ur fat ...ROFL

OMG HINATA SAN!!!!???!!!! =P

randomness 4 (i hope sid seees the opening scenes with deidra and kills fahad)

randomness 6 (sauske u attract guys hahahah effin hell)

oohh i meant to post more vids but iam seriously tired!!!
itekemas

the LAMA effect

2009-03-15T00:33:00.000+05:00

an advice for u all...
NEVER I SAY NVER LISTEN TO WHAT HURTS THE MOST BY RASCAL FLATTS WHEN UR DEPRESSED.. IT ONLY MAKES U WANA CRY HARDER..

not that iam depressed.... iam absolutely 'smile please'... my friend got into yale and another onez soon gona be cornell '13... this happens in wake of my recent paranoia that we pakistanis have become jinxed =p.. (minus the fact that iam still pretty much unucky..... clovers?? anyone? evil buddy in distress.. help.. ) =p

for ur conveinience (mostly mine) i removed the godfather- read tediously loooong- post.. it took me a whole minute to load blogger (noo iam not a snotty mega bitrate addict, its just one of those crabby days when iam royally pissed off)

nwayz in light of my recent conversations with ayesha over ad-sense and lucrative investment in lama wash-drive through (the latterwhich has nothing to do with whats about to come) i have finally registered for the adsense account..... okay well i havent. its just that id rather chomp lama milk cheese (gurgh urgh!!!) than have sm advertisment (who kowz how -ahem- provocative or sick it might be, cuz believe me i have come across quite a few in the past month).... speaking of lama milk chese... no strike that strictly speaking of cheese (ugh.. lama milk .... what on earth is wrong with me) i have become facinated with all cheese there is in this world which yet to be graced by my taste buds (and bowels- thought id stick to a less harsh eventuality)... so to hell with greenpeace and my traitourous lumberjack imitation (not that anyone of you cept for aisha has been a witness to zat....thankooo GOD) iam gona grow up and become a cheese connoisseur and tour france, italy (yea yea the whole europe)..
no iam not tasting any wine.. id rather not risk being disowned (i shoo love GOD)=p
france....hmmm... mebe i'll stop by to grace yco with another lama pinata package just for old times sake at ijaz plumbing whatitsname place =p

ahh well time flies... gotta go and annoy lil bro and then possibly beg dad for ice cream.... (it is medically impossible to blow up unless sm1 pumps air into u... poor poor icream... its being framed by my faimly... sammy cant takethis diet 7up thing anymore... PEPSI AND ICECREAM... GOTTA FIND TALHA...TREATTTT)

when life gives u lemons.....

2009-03-09T01:23:00.000+05:00

.....oh what the hell ust go squirt them in somebody's eyes.. enough with teh whole, u should dance or make bloody lemonade..

gahhhh i'll post tmrow

what did i do

2009-02-22T00:05:00.000+05:00

today iam truly miserable
:(

chemistry sucky big BIG time

2009-02-17T17:22:00.000+05:00

i dont have common sense
iam an exclusive member of the 'janwar sower qoam'
i dont know how to 'damagh lagao'

and thats why iam the last person on earth to remotely understand chemistry
dont ask! (or if u insist plz contact my chem sir)

The DARING conquests of the the bloody MUTT

2009-02-15T18:21:00.000+05:00

for those of you who have figured out what the title implies...YES IT HAPPENED AGAIN

and for those who brushed it away thinking i have no luck with labels or titles....

1) yess i still have no luck

2) my dog bit me again

honestly i think hez going senile but my parents think other wise..

what is so otherwise about a 1000 pound stinky (trust me it'll burn ur nose) no good mutt sinking his FANGS into ur flesh..

oh and dont even get me started on those dirty claws.. i dont understand how my faimly manages to reject my suggestion of cutting his nails everytime i bring it up...

bah it just shows whom they love more =p

gahhhh... it was just another day.. i went outside to paly sm tennis with lil bogger WHEN i comitted the GRIEVOUS sin of stepping on the MUTT's favourite rag.. and HE BLOODY BIT ME... THIS IS THE HUNDREDTH TIME HEZ DONE THAT..

and then he went on to snarl and spit like sm loser/washed up evil villian whoz had his butt whooped an infinite number of times..

[ all hail the butt whooper ]

and then I and the lil bogger had to stand out side in front of a glaring mad-hatter mutt until ami came to the rescue and tied him up (did i mention how cold it was outside)

notable after events

1) ami tied him with a zanjir-steel chain

2) ami chastisised me for looking like a bhangi

3) ami said i deserved a payback for all those times id make faces at him, going to school, while he was tied up, eating infront of him and making faces, making faces at him in general, consistantly raising notions of killing him and trying to feed him chocolate (chocolate is fatal for dogs)

4) the mutt salivated all over our tennis rackets (which he claimed from us while we stood as prisoners outside)

5) he chewed the hell outta our tennis ball... now it looks like the inside of a stomach

6) IT WAS SOOO BLOODY COLD AND SO ONE SYMPATHISES WITH ME...

[lil bogger is my little brother and the mutt's real name shall never be disclosed- all the more proof of how i hate him...lets jus call him mutt or 'he who is too smelly to be named' ]

THATS IT IAM GETTING A PARROT WHO CAN HURL INSULTS AT THE MUTT WHILE IAM OFF AT SCHOOL

#$#^*&$^$(&i%$

2009-02-14T17:42:00.001+05:00

and now i dont feel like posting anything atall

CURSES

4GETIT

I AINT POSTING ANYTHING

betrayal of the creative juices =P

2009-02-14T16:15:00.000+05:00

If u logged in to check my impending piece on saint idiots day..
it still isnt complete.. and will probably take some time..
till then you can check out bigfishgames.com and leave me to my icecream

:)

check out the blog at arond 9pm.

Happy unimaginative, consumerist oriented and entirely arbitrary, manipulative and shallow interpretation of a DAY

coming soon

2009-02-13T18:42:00.000+05:00

heyy everyone..
i have a bad news and a good news..
bad news first : the anti-valentine and the elvis imitation cartoons wont be completed by tomorrow cuz its gona take like 20 more hours to finish and i have yet to prepare for the maths mock .... sooooo sorry........ i was really looking forward to hillarity on saint idiots day and i know sm of u were aswell... mebe next year =p

good news: i have planned an exclusive post for tomorrow..... that will bash all those heartsss heads back into the 18th century... they can have their ''romantic'' dinner in the pigsty.. [to which i will set fire for sure though a stable will be more appropriate =p]

ok well i gotta go..

i retire [for a week zat is]

2009-02-06T19:56:00.000+05:00

ive been listening to pink alot.. ironic isnt it.. i hate pink yet love listening to pink..though both are in all entirety ..very different

i dun feel like blogging.. i have been sleeping alot in the past eek and still look like a ~~walking zombie~~ whoops i mean a lex luthor look alike hobbling with crutches zombie.

i tried to study maths. ended in tears [note almost tears.. id be dammed if i cry] cuz each time i did a question id be reminded of further math and how my fate hangssss in 'balancio'.. and right now iam trying not to think bout the mocks and laughing like a manic cuz teh PC is fixed and no more 'begging like a dog for dadz laptop =p'

i finally checked my MIT online application tracking system and they have processed it(da da DAAAAAA DUMMMMMM). well the parts zat i mailed that is...Annnnnnd... i feel crabby and crappy... everythime i think bout the app i get this empty feeling in the stomach.. (not the sick one , iam very well accustomed with that ONE, considering how i have the worst case of motion sickness in 100 sumthing years).. iam not gona get in it anyways so i keep deciding i wont send my financial aid application. =p
or mebe my mom will beat me senseless if i dont ..oh well

on a lighter note WPI keeps me updated all the time.. iam in love them. they keep sending me notifications and are always sooo prompt in replying to my mails. =p

AANNNNDDDD TORONTO STILL HASNT SENT THE TRANSCRIPT REQUEST. shanzoo sayz that it takes up to 10 days... but heck i just reached day 8 TDAY AND WHYYYYYYYYYY AMMMM I IGGGGGNOREDDDDDDDDDD.

WHAT!?!

i hatessss harry potter ... dont u

soaked in misery [uni app essay]

2009-02-03T03:29:00.000+05:00

iam sooo stupid i sud have never listened to all that 'be urself in the essay' crap..
cuz i did that... i spewed out everything that came to my mind and i cant believe i actually submitted that piece of libelous garbage

here are snippets of it [u'll be delusional to expect me to post all of it and be a laughing stock]

SOB

UMMM ...yeah i have removed the 'snippets' --(obviously) but thanx for da comments ... and now u can enjoy the terrorcat or as my bro sayz 'meet the new generation of feline terrorists- KaTz... '

poor poor mice... i wish i had one then id bring it to school, hide in in my sleeve [its big enough] and let it loose in sir iftikharz class whod probably go, ye dekho ye mugh se bhi late hai!!! main ise ab tolerate nai karon ga.

and sir inayat would probably go ... is SOWEER KO KIS &*#%#@ NE CHORA HAI.. DARSAL MUSALMAN QOUM HAI NA.. KOI TAMEEZ NAI HAI..

nd mam K wud probably be like ...eeeeeekkkkkk......class dismissed

and fatima baig would shatter every piece of glass in the building as her shrieks would transcend the regular octaves

and now i should probably shutt up and get to the computer project

oii yco i dun like cats but tht pic was too funny to be left behind [and it kinda reflected wht i was thinking at da moment =p]

Followers Of Maggotism (SlipKnoT)

2009-02-02T02:14:00.000+05:00

ok i found this on face book and it wsa too hilarious to be left out!!

SlipKnoT drives us... they give us power... THEY ARE THE PUSH THAT MAKES US MOVE (Surfacing 4:20)!!!

So i think they deserve a religon of there own... MAGGOTISM!!!

The 9 Commandments:
1. Thou Shalt Not EVER Give Up On Slipknot
2. Thou Shalt NEVER Listen To Limp Shitzkit
3. Thou Shalt ALWAYS Defend The Molten Metal Gods
4. NEVER, EVER BE ASHAMED TO BE A MAGGOT!!!
5. Thou Shalt ALWAYS Be Proud To Be A Maggot
6. Obey, And Do As They Say
7. Learn EVERYTHING you Can About Them
8. Once You Solve Tattered And Torn, Consult Me For Further Instructions.
9. They ARE Metal Gods Now, They Were When They Arose From The Independent Des Moines Music Scene, And They ALWAYS Will Be.

Nick Disasterpiece Pitingolo

i like listening slipknot bt never knew things were this serious =p

[solemnly] yess its true..... I HATE TWILIGHT

2009-01-31T04:50:00.000+05:00

[facebook- twilight hate club]:

Twilight is gay...If you want to read a book, go read Stephen King or HP Lovecraft, those books blow this shit back to Hell where it belongs...And you little Tweens, get over yourself, Edward Cunningham is NOT real and Rob Pattinson is not a Vampire, he is not even human, just a pile of shit with no life which moves around and talks...Oh and yes " OMG OMG TWILIGHT IS NOT DA BST MUVEE EVA MADE!!!"

What some people say abt this book...

"It's a FACT that if a guy wrote this book, it'd be called dirty and be labeled as novelised pornography. Stephenie Meyer just wishes she was J.K Rowling"- Richard Moir

"SPOILER: EDWARD KILLS DUMBLEDORE

There, I just saved you $20 and about 6 hours. Go back to gaia." - Liz Wallace

"And they still keep coming. Edward Cullen is not real! And if he was then he wouldn't go out with any of you, Twitards! It took him 108 years to find one girl that he thought he liked and even that wasn't true love. I hope one day each and every one of those Twitards will understand that basic truth. Some will probably end up killing themselves." - Matthew Ashworth

"vampires have no dignity after this book"- Ryan Johnston

"I have another compalint about how twilight is destorying our normal socitey. Besides all of those preppy girls who think it's so "romanitc" there are also the goth wanna bees. theses are the people who act and or think that they are vampires!! Listen closely, there is and will never be vampires. And anyone who thinks that their a vampire is an absolute idiot!!" - Will Hooker

"That book fucking sucks" - Arafat Kabir Turjo

" In Harry Potter, he got pwnd and died, lol" Mourad Mouradov

[i most definately did not write that but i feel it ..AGREED. herez sth that'd have u rooling on the floor -well those of u who hate twilight that is]

guys if u cant view all the bubble heads clearly then click on the image above or visit the link below. k!
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v375/blackmetalkilla/TwilightSucks.jpg

ok ok there are two more images to go but sth wrong with my bloody mouse it wont left click, i'll upload em tmrow

ps; if any of u is a real big fan of twilight and thinks that i shud be hanged for this sort of literary travesty/blasphemy[iam supposing in ur world its that big an offence] then please remember that these are my opinions (well i jus said i hated twilight the rest are here courtesy internet) and of others and [i'll speak 4 my self now] any value judgements that i pass honour the democratic system that i coexist in [the News-AUG 19: mush quits with his tail between his legs.. -i respect the former president alot & this headline is jus an example of the freedom of speech that the aforementioned 'democratic' system endorses]

really i mean no ill will =p

[but still if u believe that i shud be eaten by alastians and forgotten 'for eva and eva' then be it.., UR AN IDIOT FOR THINKING I COULD DIE AGAIN... well u see iam not very alive right now.. i have no heart like tony stark .... WHOZ NOT A VAMP ...more like an andriod like ze infamous general grievous]

IGNORE SPELLING/GRAMMATICAL MISTAKES

yello ppl

2009-01-30T19:54:00.000+05:00

so lets see i missed an entire january [minus the ramblings i decided to post last night bcuz i was miserable as they were making a dragonball z unanimated movie without vegeta grraahhhhh]

soo ummm.. right now iam seething cuz it took me a lotta time to fix my gmailz [long story], school was mad and two of my bloody friends got university acceptances and i din get ANY treat [can u imagine the audacity!!!buwahhhh bhoo hoo hoo].

what else,,,,, oh nd i have developed a nocturnal routine which means i'll always have the last say in ur mails or blog comments.. ppl shud ave noticed =p

and now iam starting to bore myself so before i go 'logger out' =p i would just beg all the self respecting guys who go around becoming fans of twilight and hillary duff on facebook and what not to GET A BLOODY LIFE please [no offense but a couple of my juniors are doing this and its annoying the brain cells outta me =p]

oh oh oh and ive started watching Dragon ball z nd IAM LOVIN IT [veeeggeettaaaaa!!!]

gotta go dinner time

[] [] [] [] [] >+< [] [] [] [] []

2009-01-30T03:17:00.000+05:00

its late. i have been sitting in front of the system for 2 empty hours now and cant seem to decide upon any course of action. The little voice in the head keeps going 'u brought this upon urself ' and i cant help agreeing.

- write 4 empathy recommendation letter for chutki group
- write a personal essay for a friend
- write a maths refrence letter for a friend
- complete financial application form
- start on 2000 page computer project
- fix 7 accounts that have been hacked [termite]
- study for mocks
- write my own 5 personal essays that are due in ~~3 days~~ 2 days
- help lil bro prepare for his mad math mock due in 5 hours
great just thinking about the rest of them chokes me. this post is terminates rigtht here

...

2008-12-30T14:22:00.000+05:00

Procrastination

arrrgghhhhh

damnit or dammit...whats the difference?

2008-12-29T18:57:00.000+05:00

see i spent the last night thinking of differnt ways to get back at a particularly mischevious feind if mine (friend misspelled on purpose)

and then it hit me.....ICE CREAMMMMMMMM

shit i need to print the labels,.....dammit.....i almost forgot....will finish this post later

stinkin sheeps

2008-12-23T20:41:00.000+05:00

had a nasty nightmare... prancing in a dandoline feild goin lalalalalalala..
and that wasnt me...the prancer was ayesha...
(hahah...woman u cant strangle me just as yet..ever since my dog bit me...ive been havin 'supaa' weird nightmares and a fancy for howling ...which i do everytime i dont get catty chins at 7 pm =p)

nuts right ,,,,!!
the only reason iam even blogging here (in face of yco bcoming a PR agent against my sorry wishes) is beacuse i'll not rest until i annihillate yco..... or mebe i should change the domain name...any suggections...how bout ..
-myevilsocks.blogspot.com
-stupidomainame.blogspot.com
-ihatecabbage.blogspot.com (i do honestly)
-ichangedmyblogadressdammit.blogspot.com
-outofideas.blogspot.com

oh oh oh...wait...how bout
itsycozfault.blogspot.com (only two of u will understand this..=p)

dah dah da DUM!!!

buwahahahaahahahhahaha
(sniffff....need to wrk on the bloody essay..gotta go..ITEKEMAS!!!!)
ps: will let my 'not so keen' fans know when i change the adress.. though i dont see it happening soon...
pps; guys keep comin in with suggestions for blog adress... will be appreciated...
ppps: i just saw the title again....what the hell was i thinking.!!

me alert

2008-12-17T22:35:00.000+05:00

hey guys before u raise ur eyebrows 'why arent u working on ur essay'...i jus wanted to say..BEAT IT...tehehehe...damn teh essay,..

oh and comin to the point i jus wanted to tell u guys that ive started a new blog... (dun worry iam not ditchin this one...i love my ramblings and urs that follow)...
[trumpet]
its called the pakistani SUPA hero chronicles....minus the absurd dress(neva really liked his costue u know... i mean every1 knows that ur cape get get stuch in almost anything and when u walk it get s dirty...!! duh duh dum)
nways havent started bloggin on it yet...writin the first chapter....nd as always its everything i stand for
that is funny...
hang in there

byee

http://namezsupaman.blogspot.com/

oh and i need team members...if u wana volunteer...wages are miserly...work hours are long and no coffee

U LITTLE TWERP

2008-12-17T22:24:00.000+05:00

'U KNOW WHO U ARE':....... IAM GONA DESTROY U ... THAT WAS NOT FUNNY AT ALL . GRRRRRRRR

BEWARE OF LEAD, ARSENIC POISIONING AND CYBER KOWALA ATTACK IN COMIN WEEK.....

DAMMIT (I BELIEVE THE FONT SIZE SPEAKS MUCH)

SERIOUSLY!

a very candy luck!!

2008-12-04T22:30:00.000+05:00

k so the title is officially screwed but ive never been good with titles ...every1 knows that since i made my complaints oh so obvious in empathy mails...

k comin to the point ...i would like to Fish u all a very satisfying SAT (??what the hell is wrong wit me??) and lik i said last time...dun forget to give the invigilator a piece ov ur non existent mind if he/she is being strict when ur checking out ur peep's answer sheet...(jealous twerps arent they...just cuz they dun have such corporating friends ...HMph)

oh and good luck!!!

and i almost 4got::: lots and lots of cheese to a very frazzeled talha...(thanks for almost killing me!!!!!!)

ps:Try this.. ive always felt happy when i think of cheese...not the stinky one...iam talkin bout the character from foster's home for imaginary friends.....we are verrryyy similar..me and cheese...OOOOOOOKKKKKKKAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYY =P!!!

iam not AWOL: iam jus miserable--@--

2008-10-16T18:56:00.000+05:00

CRAP
thats what SAT is
UTTER CRAP
it has ruined the liVes of so many

so anywayz iam miserable cuz iam gona flunk P-3 ...all the bananas are finished and my dad jus refused point blank to bUy mE a pet crocodile
sheesh....talk bout tyrannical parents
n wayz since saturday is the 'sit for 4 hours and enjoy the PAIN IN UR BUTT day'
all i wana say....or rather ask is that
will is kill you to NOT keep telling me how screwed you are

CHILL PEOPLE
on friday CHILL
jus the way glassy said it (u know who u are =p)

and on saturday...strut around like u own the centre (which btw has only too recently received a terrorist bomb threat...)
give the paper like its just another chupa chups lollypop [now why the hell did i say that....guilty pleasures.....hmmmmm]

and if theinvigilator smirks when he/she sees ur hideous picture on the passport (trust me they alwayz come out hideous...its a conspiracy...if ihadnt known myself better i counld have sworn my nose was missing...!!@)] so tell him/her that his/her wart looks absolutely gorgeous...and the hair puts a new touch to it....that'll zip his/her smile 4 good......orrrr may result in u getting kicked out....BUT heyy its worth the laugh...

nwayz gud luck to all ma peeps!

i wont be bloggin for the coming week.. =p
cya!~

top ten on my nutter ratings

2008-10-04T17:17:00.000+05:00

1- exodus
2- Roots
3- To kill A mockingbird
4- all works of thomas hardy and oscar wilde
5- pakistan and the war on terror
6- a million little pieces
7- the SELLaMILLION (hehe iam still laughin)
8- curtain: poirots last case :(cuz he died
9- The soddit (ok this one killed me....gandef's hunk chunk drunk!!!....khe hehehe)
10- The mill On the floss :))

MOST HATED :
An American Brat by bapsi sidhwa (what was she thinkin???!!???)
sense and sensibility and northanger abbey (if i hear the word ball gowns i'll throw! )
A LEVEL chemistry (dun ask!.....)

iam back!!!!

2008-10-04T16:30:00.000+05:00

Worst thing bout travelling with faimly is that u never know whats gona happen next. its really unpredictable.
and if u have younger siblings ...specially THOSE who are better at being annoying than u.....UR IN FOR SOME ROUGH RIDE!

but in the end..it all pays off when u return and scream for the entire world to hear.....
IAM BACK RAWALPINDI ...................BOOODAMNYEAH.

righto ...i think this time i got to see all the rivers of pakistan except for sutlej...but really i keep covincing myself that there was nothing much to look for in sutlej anywayz....cept for some dead fishes and a general dryness.
OH and the number of buffloes i saw between faisalabad and lohore....sheesh...one would start thinkin there is no shortage of milk in this country.....
buffloes on one side......there were definately a heck lot of textile industries b/w the 2 cities...i dun think i ever respected faisalabad as much as i do now..(hmmm ...but it still annoys me)..
lohore was annoying again...all the book shops were closed!
AND IT WAS SOO DAMN HOT
multan just shortcircuted my cool.....talk bout a free sauna session..!
HOT HOT HOT HOT (picture me jumping on burnin coals)
and if faisalabad and lohore had a lotta buffloes than ...amn u shud have seen the ghadas in multan....and the 'even greater in number' droppings..
i dont think i can ever love old multan less....because their bantay wala soda ROCKSSSS!!!
as for new multan...hmmmm.............ok fine they had the best squash courts...i shud be a lil grateful here..!
just for teh record...i ahve alwayz hated jinnah highs...its a breeding ground for snobs! olevel and alevels both....

next we come to kharian....love that place ..it has the finest military cantonement...the best....i couldnt get enough of all the tanks and the armd corp division....
probably beacuse it was the first palce i learnt to drive a tank when i was little
or was that quetta.....hmmm....but anywayz iam sure...it was either tank or an anti aircraft....
[not that ive actualy bombed anything....but its fun to learn....general knowledge: how to blow up hostile locomotive elements]

external ballistics ppl.....
ohK..what comes next.....HOME
wyhooppeeeee...
why am i posting this again?
nuts

Yawn!

2008-09-04T23:47:00.000+05:00

ok..... so iam way past my curfew here...and the only reason my mom hasnt shot me yet is bcuz i told her i was working on my computer project (in september???? thats just mental)..
damn the computer project id have had a seizure if i started workin on it this soon....and mind u i utterly hate the computer pojects...
1) my programming sucks...
2) the compiler just loves to present me withe 39 errors...most of which i cant even figure out till the end of the day
3) i simply hate getting commands wrong....and I ALWAYS GET EM WRONG...
bloody system....

anywayz iam still recovering FROM the shock of finding out that MIT has the highest suicide rate......even though my friends say ppl do it bcuz they cant handle the pressure................& i ask u............huh????
i mean how can uthrow ur life away on such an excuse....if u want to hit the bucket that early.... atleast do it bcuz u were sick of watching third class anime or in my case....sick of watching the race of men triunph through cheap deception and blah blah blah
pressure...?? studies ??
bOOOORRRRIIIINNGGGGGG

thats it...these rambling are beggining to bore me......time to catch on some zzzzzzzzzzzzz
itekemas!

WAPDA ki to

2008-09-01T20:24:00.001+05:00

so what reduced me to this state of pathetic whining in the dark (it aint dark at the moment but still)...i mean i can be preeetttyyy dramatic bout this whole issue... how the govt fails to flog wapda...how wapda is still running around yellin woohoo look at me...i jus cut ur electricity and THEREZ NOTHING U CAN DO BOUT IT...HAHA...i can even have sad starplussy drama music in teh background...buts thats social suicide...and the murder of my morals =p

honestly if i went and murdered sm1 incharge that would definatey pass as doing something...but i heard the penalty for that sort of thing has gotten pretty strict over the years [gulp!]

lon gone are the days when i used to watch an entire movie without interruptions...now its barely one episode of scrubs and the light goes poof!...ok and e=even if u do start on a movie....WAPDA unleashes its treachery right at the beggining ar right on the climax..the CLIMAX OF ALL CLIMAXES...THE BIG REVELATION......THE CLIFF HANGR......[yea iam still depressed what happened in the last 30 min of the revenge of the sith...sm1 had to call and tell me!]

so frankly speaking ive lost all faith in WAPDA. In my opinion it is as big a bloody cow as the British Council...British council because they just charged me this astronomical sum for a paper recheck and WAPDA bcuz ....IF THERE HAD BEEN BLOODY LIGHT IUD HAVE BLOODY STUDIED PROPERLY AND WOULDNT BE GETTING A PAPER RECHECKED IN THE FIRST PLACE..

see i can be an angel!

thanks to the govt and its highly efficient 'lets save electricity programme'..or more appropriately...lets fry thsese chickenz in the dark....my ravings have progressed to an entirely different/advanced level

~an ode to WAPDA~

OH WAPDA

how u smtimes drive me nuts

Peanuts

Hazlenuts

bloody nuts!

does it pain u

to see me glued

to Naruto (season 5 baby!)

(obviously it does)

when u cut my electricity supply

my mental equilibrium goes bye bye

i go on a rampage....HULK style

and then get beaten up for breaking sth

so u see WAPDA...once again bcuz of u

ive got a BLACK EYE!

itkemas!

my first ROZA of 2008!!!

2008-09-01T20:24:00.000+05:00

the really stupid part of this entire catharsis iz that i did not do a sehri and suffered for the rest of the day...lets see.. i did drink 4 huge (i mean seriously huge) glasses of water but 2 hours later......i began to realize.....i needed water
well anyhow it was obviously too late foe me!

skool was fine till the chemistry class...it was our first day with the new As and ragging was sth i had been looking forward to....all that money...finally i'll enter the cafeteria with MINT....that is until me and my friend realized that ROZA THA!!!! no cafeteria!

sheesh
major depression!
anywayz for the rest of the day we were assigned as volunteers in the hallwayz stopping kids and rerouting traffic...it was a disaster....complete fiasco...i tell u ...
NEVER TRY TO TELL A COUPLE OF JERKS (presumably of male species) THAT U RAE INCHARGE AND THAT U'LL HAVE THINGS UR WAY..

we did it.....talk bout fatal mistake....
for the next 1 hour we had to duck and jump out of their way as they wud cm barreling from no where...(apparently they realized that we couldnt stop em this way....nd we couldnt...i mean as much as i want to be squashed like a boiled potato...i dont look forward to this fate anytime soon...not until i have completed the entire season of naruto =p)

well volunteering as the hallway monitors for 2 bloody hours took its toll and parched and dehydrated i dragged myself to maths.....
delusional!!
i cud barely do 2+2
its 5 right...i have alwayz maintained that its 5 and aint no way ur gona make it 4 for me!!!!

so anywayz...if maths was torture than computing wa like a tea break in hell (except ..there was no tea)....

anywayz i spent the rest of the day sleeping and having banana nitemares(every1 eatin bananas....every1 except guess who)....and at iftari......i wasnt allowed to touch anything cuz i had a sore throat and the only stuff i kud eat was RICE!!!!
YUCK
MY ******** ********** ******* *******
[dun look at me ik that ,...what wud u have done? ]

so moral of the story...: u can never be too well prepared for ur first roza of the year....never....
and ......... never tell ur sir that u refuse to be his guinea pig when it comes to ICT...not exctly related to the topic but trust me it can have serious reprecussions... like suffering a steely ice cold glare for the rest of the year!

ayshaz belated birthday! the real and completely orignal description of the chaos that followed

2008-08-25T16:29:00.000+05:00

so basically this post was meant to be a reply to ycoz attempt at humor: ayeshaz bday!.. but since hez removed the post from the blog now.. i have no spittin choice but to post it here (oooOOooH...am i in pain....)... i must admit this aint one of my best work...in fact its one of the worst... i didnt even make any attempts at humor...i jus wrote whatever came to my mind..so dun kill me 4 being lame!! and yeah iam in no mood to do any sort of editing so iam gona post the whole thing as it is....feel free to make any sarcastic/insulting comments...[like i giv a damn]

[[[Bloody humiliation my bloody foot….i’ll teach u the meaning of pain…but since ur eventually gona be eaten butalastians …it can wait (wasey iam in favour of a stampede for a chauvinist like u…take it in this way…the entire animal kingdom will be present in r honor(??)When u croak! )_
I see the self proclaimed dictator has already bashed u enough as it …. So dun mind if I do too..
(After all u should have foreseen it the moment u made her the object of affections of some frustrated/loser Dracula who feels like a victim at hands of neighborhood bully hellsing and finds a bunion massage the most enthralling sensation in life!!!)]]]

presenting u the more correct and entirely true version of ayeshaz bday interview 4rm all the personalities that actually matter :
the stylings of sammy and mr mopsy (whoz certainly not a boa constrictor but a bone brushing python…honestly didn’t I tell u guyz iam more eeevil than a boa!!!!!)

me: and we’re off
mr mopsy: hiss cant wait…hiss…hunnngrrryyy
me: u wont be consuming any1 until the interrogation is over
mr mopsy: hisss sure whatever jerk…all u feed me is chauvinists and socks….i want to have a go at that hissssss…ayesha girl…hisss…who had the audacity to label me a boa…hisss...only a blind geezer could miss all these muscles (pronounced as mosk-als…mopsy style)…

1st VICTIM :
ive deleted is as per ur request ashoo

2nd victim : SIDRA
me: oye sid aaj ashoo ki birthday hai
sidra: oyeeeee ashooo …ya …na kar…mein ne ussay subah hi keh diya tha….yar fit larki hai….shez my best punch bag…takes em all….i tell ya….she takes em all in the face…
everytime I knock sm1 out in the ring….i owe it all to her
[viewers I must add that this famous punch of sidra results in toothlessness! And unless u wat to have grafted incisors like me…please don’t try to annoy her! ]

3rd victim: the janitor
yeesi remember her… yees yees..shes was a bossy 1 wasn’t she…always telling me to unclog the toilets …honestly how painful will it be if u hooligans flush for once …huh …jus 1 tug…but noooo…that’s 4 me to do huh…cough hurgh urgh koah koah chooo…nwayz I was telling u bout that woman…plain pain in my keester…alwayz givin me orders while she sat in the corner and clipped her hideous toenails …(uuurrGGGhhhh)…

[ummm is this aisha we are talking bout here.]

aisha……who the hell is she…..who are we talking bout here….sniffff
[aisha and definitely not the ayah]

4th victim: yco
[I am sorry to say but yco wasn’t avalible 4 the interview…mr mopsy ate him before yco kid say….holy bananas is that a bloody boa on ur shoulders XP XP XP]

more victims to come... jus not now..cuz iam in no mood to write...infact the utter lameness of the humor is depressing me....
later

where the hell are women rights to seurity and justice: 5 women burried alive in balochistan

2008-08-24T12:15:00.000+05:00

Every year in Pakistan hundreds of women, of all ages and in all parts of the country, are reported killed in the name of honour. Many more cases go unreported. Almost all go unpunished. The lives of millions of women in Pakistan are circumscribed by traditions, which enforce extreme seclusion and submission to men many of whom impose their virtually proprietarily control over women with violence. For the most part, women bear the traditional male control over every aspect of their bodies, speech and behaviour with stoicism, as part of their kismat (fate), but exposure to media, the work of women's rights groups and the greater degree of mobility have seen the beginnings of women's rights awareness seep into the secluded world of women.

The Asian Human Rights Commission (AHRC) has received information from a remote area of Balochistan province, that five women were buried alive, allegedly by the younger brother of Mr. Sadiq Umrani, the provincial minister and a prominent leader of the Pakistan People's Party, the ruling party. However, police have still not arrested the perpetrators after one month of the incident.

the lack of action on part of the police anf the government is shocking . however what is more shocking are the reasons on base of which these poor women met their fate.
Originally a Baluch and Pashtun tribal custom, honour killings are founded in the twin concepts of honour and commodity of women. Women are married off for a bride price paid to the father. There is no concept for girls to get marriage on their own choice and if it is found then, they are killed in the name of honour

the five women were Ms. Fatima, wife of Umeed Ali Umrani, Jannat Bibi, wife of Qaiser Khan, Fauzia, daughter of Ata Mohammad Umrani, and two other girls, aged between 16 to 18 years.
the younger girls wanted to marry the men of their choice which had been repeatedly refused by the elders of the tribe. they were planning to aproach the court when abducted from their houses at nightime and taken to a remote area . the 3 girls and the two elder women who were trying to intercede on their behalf were first beaten up . the girls while still alive were shot and thrown in a ditch. when the elder women tried to protect them they were pushed in the ditch and burried alive aswell. the ditch was covered with earth and stones and the ground levelled to hide any evidence.

The minors were educated and were studying in classes from 10 to 12. They were punished for trying to decide about their marriages.

A month has passed and this case remains unsolved. the perpetrator , mr abdul sattar umrani who was also involved in the killing of 3 persons including a women in january 2006 . still reamins at large chiefly due to the influence and widesweeping powers of the provincial mnister: mr Sadiq Umrani.
The influence and fear of power is exactly the reason police is reluctant to provide info on the case.
With atrocities like these at large one wonders if this country is really going to dogs.

I Speaketh

21 is a lucky number because it got this blog running

gone fishing

no nose knows normalcy

the 11th commandment: thou shalt blog

happens

I am a rotational mess

your schnauz creates a honking symphony

impending finals sucketh, leacheth my ability to posteth good.. dealeth with the crap

kids alwayz do it better!! *bows*

happy? new year..

you are not gentleman enough!

not a baa-aa-aa-aa-d job

not your regular sunday brunch

organized chaos

some things never lose their charm..

where are my endorphins you SUCKER ?!?!

You've got it.They want it.

now this'll be interesting...

the truth about lafantary :P

wailian

the lesser evil: inkjet printers

JULY 27, 4:00 AM the quest for thanda pani

for the heck of posting

its ZUKO baby!!! *the damn poll*

july 18 2009: pindites lose their heads over a drizzle :P

Umbreen Munir finallyy its raining!!! yeahhhhhhhhhhhh

Adil Nadeem O WATTA WEATHER....WATTA LINE AT BAHRIA WAITING IN DA RAAAAIN xD IT WAZ SOOO FUN FUN FANAAA FOR U BAHAHAHAH IM HIGH....

Sundus Choudary It's raining!. . .yayy!

Muhammad Uzair Tariq bc barish ho gai hai! ahh

Muhammad Uzair Tariq bc barish ho gai hai! ahh

Ridah Zafar is luvin the weather :D

Ann Fatima finally itss raining.....!!!!

Ujala Liaqat the rain has brought a happy twist to my morning

till thenSaima Tariq just slipped from the stairs again XP

Saima Tariq just slipped from the stairs again XP

Saima Tariq just slipped from the stairs again XP

I R AT-LOSS-FOR-A-PROPER-TITLE-FOR-THIS-PHOSSSTTT

iam backziz :P

papers killlleethh me

lama league's official anthem

narutarded

the LAMA effect

when life gives u lemons.....

what did i do

chemistry sucky big BIG time

The DARING conquests of the the bloody MUTT

#$#^*&$^$(&i%$

betrayal of the creative juices =P

coming soon

i retire [for a week zat is]

soaked in misery [uni app essay]

Followers Of Maggotism (SlipKnoT)

[solemnly] yess its true..... I HATE TWILIGHT

yello ppl

[] [] [] [] [] >+< [] [] [] [] []

...

damnit or dammit...whats the difference?

stinkin sheeps

me alert

U LITTLE TWERP

a very candy luck!!

iam not AWOL: iam jus miserable--@--

top ten on my nutter ratings

iam back!!!!

Yawn!

WAPDA ki to

my first ROZA of 2008!!!

ayshaz belated birthday! the real and completely orignal description of the chaos that followed

where the hell are women rights to seurity and justice: 5 women burried alive in balochistan

kids alwayz do it better!! bows

You've got it.
They want it.

its ZUKO baby!!! the damn poll

till then

Saima Tariq just slipped from the stairs again XP